jejak mawar

 Jealousy. It's kind a,, mm.. it's a kind of broken heart that we made our self. Sometimes, it came without any intention that someone do post something that accidentally or purposely read, or see,, than we feel a pang in our heart,,  Asking and wondering,, why do I don't have things they do? Mean while,, we do understand that things do not come it's self, but it brings some consequences,, that might or might be not be able to be boar by us.  But still, some times I do wandering,, why do Allaah do not gave us that yet.. Don't we deserve it? Do we too bad for that good thing? Is that thing is too good to be true? Or, stop thinking about it. then live our life. Be happy for your self, in any kind situation we have. There is no guarantee that we would be happy if we are on the same shoes as them,,  but still,, ... :) #Staysave,, stay happy for yourself. Your happiness come from yourself. Be sure. Be happy :D  

 Assalaamu'alaykum warahmatullaah,, Hi! how are you? I just hope that in any kind of condition, your heart is in a calm and happy situation. As I am (hope..) :D This note is,, mmm, not really important notes, I think. But I just have to get this thought out of my head, so.. :) This week was such amm,,, called it a gloomy one, you can say. Cause it sky was this dark grey, cry and angry to I don't know who,, and my head and my mind didn't find it nice vibe.  I was,, kind a felt sad, loosing, and,, disappointed? All bad thought scrambled in my mind, and I just can not find a peace from it. And I guess, it just on of the days in my girl time, so I just have to peacefully accept it and live with it. But, maybe (this is the right answer, really),, I just being stupid for hoping too much from something that do not deserved to be hope that much.  I just forgot that, Allaah swt already lined what He would give to us, and if that thing is thing that He bless for us,, then it wouldn...

There is a book, a novel actually that I really like. I forgot what it titled, but I can clearly remember what is about. It’s about a woman. A grown up woman. A lady. She already has a job. Live on her own life style, but, yeah,, some people said that she lack a lot of things. Like, a husband. Kids. Family. But, actually she has all of that. Just in a little different way of seeing from other. She did have a family; parents who never absent to nag :D,, Kids; bunch of godson and goddaughter. And friends, who may be a good company when she needs it. But still, some people said that she has nothing. And me, if they see me, I guess they would say the same. Worst, maybe. Because this time, I’m kind a in a position like her, minus a stable job. So, yeah, they might say something worst. Do I get hurt of it? Sometimes, yes. And the other times, I just remembered one thing that someone said, “Your life goal is not to be something. But to worship to Allaah swt...

Assalaamu'alaykum warahmatullaah,, Hi!!!! (tepuk-tepuk dinding yang berdebu..:) I'ts been along time since the last time I write something in this blog. Busy? Naaah,, just me being too much me ^^. I'll write about that later. This time, I want to share about a thing that I do lately, every time I face something that intrigue me, problems, and something like that. Actually, it's not something that I found by myself. I'ts something that a lot of people do. But I want to share it once again, maybe it can add another plus point story of it. Sleep it off. Have you heard of it? These days, people seems like to share what we call as 'statues' at social media, chat-app, and another public app that allowed public to know what happen in their life. Sometimes, it can give you a positive feedback, but sometimes, it just give you another headache to deal with. Sharing what happened in our life is a good thing, to spread happiness to the other. Sharing s...

March 26th 2018. It was a new day for me. I graduated, once again. But I felt something that i know i shouldn't, yet it still there. I'm no longer a student of an academic institute. But I'm still learning to live. And it's harder these time. People always say; "Welcome to the jungle", to everyone who graduated from school. But I don't fell like I come to a jungle. More like a desert, or .... I was on roller coaster to much these days. One time I was up, and another hours I was deep down on a valley. It's really a new life for me. And I try to live it on. Try to hang on on a hope. Cz Allaah said,, "Jangan berputus asa atas karunia Allaah.." There will be, (someday, somehow), right? Just keep going. Don't stop. Keep going.

(Mantan) calon adik ipar. Atau, ia lebih suka menyebut 'Calon Adik Ipar Yang Tidak Jadi'. Badannya kecil. Imut. Orangnya lebih suka mendengarkan. Menanggapi cerewetnya mulut satu ini. Dan memberi anggukan atau jawaban ketika perlu. Awal kenal, ketika itu tidak terlalu 'ngeh'. Kami beda jurusan tadinya. Lalu terjadi migrasi, dan dia menjadi bagian dari jurusan kami, bersama seorang Gadis Merauke. Akan kuceritakan nanti tentang gadis yang satu itu. Bersama Gadis Sopeng, Gadis Jambi dan Seorang Pemuda Majalengka. Gadis Bireun itu, meski tidak sering berbicara,- level kecerewetannya agak jauh dibawah kami [baca: Gadis Pangalengan dan Gadis Merauke],, tapi keceriaannya tak kalah manis. Senyum selalu menghiasi wajahnya. Ia juga penurut. Ia sukarela memijati bahu dan punggungku yang pegal membawa ransel beriisi kehidupan hampir setiap hari. Dan ia juga baik. Ia merelakan lengan atasnya ku cubit dan ku gigiti jika sedang 'kambuh'. (dan saa...

Alena terdiam di ujung tebing. Satu tangannya menggenggam erat tali lentera apung yang menyala. Satu tangan lainnya menggenggam bilah kayu yang menjadi pagar pembatas tebing dan laut di bawahnya. Tatapan Alena terpaku pada matahari yang hendak pamit. Sebentar lagi mungkin. Alena mengalihkan pandangannya pada lentera yang ia genggam talinya. Menghadirkan kenangan atas lentera-lentera lain yang dulu pernah ada disana. Dulu, ketika matahari masih sepenggalan naik, ada lebih dari satu lentera yang talinya ia genggam. Sebelum satu persatu menjadi abu, menyisakan satu yang apinya pun tak lagi membara. Meski begitu, cahayanya masih cukup untuk menemani Alena. Beberapa hari yang lalu, sebuah bisikan bertanya pada Alena. Apakah ia yakin akan berhasil menerbangkan lenteranya ke langit sana? Alena hanya menjawab, "Insyaallaah..". Bisikan itu menyela,, menolak 'insyaallaah' Alena. Lalu menyuarakan berbagai tanya mengapa dan kalimat lain yang Alena hanya mampu terbata membala...